Thursday, 27 December 2012

A New Beginning

I'm not a new blogger. I have recently decided to stop actively working on my beloved Not Even A Bag of Sugar. I couldn't imagine not blogging now, and have decided to have a pink fluffy blog where I can just chat about whatever comes to mind.

2012 has been a really interesting year for me. Most of the year, up until October, had been a time of consolidation, working in my caring job, looking after my son Joseph, and just tootling along. In June I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, and my world started to crumble.

The pain, the bloating, the weird bowel habits, the urgency, the need to know where a toilet could be located at all times, was difficult. However what was hardest was that I knew what was wrong, what was at the heart of it. And I couldn't tell anyone.

I was given an NHS booklet which told me all about it, and there it was in black and white. That adults sexually abused as children, often develop IBS in later life.

For the next few months I just tried to cope with it the best I could. I suppressed the feelings and emotions, and I just took the treatment my doctor prescribed and carried on the best I could. In October, in the UK, the news was suddenly full of adults coming forward with stories of child abuse. Suddenly it was almost ok to talk about. For survivors like me it was liberating, confronting and terrifying all at once.

One Sunday in October it all came crashing down around my ears. I had a rare weekend off, my husband and son were away, and suddenly I just had to talk, I had to tell someone. I chose, somewhat strangely, a man, Daniel, to tell about what had happened and to ask for help.

What followed was a blog post, which I will, in time, migrate over here. That post was a massive turning point in my life. I have since started treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and anxiety.

2013 is going to be a year of great change. I start it with a new job, new child care arrangments for Joseph and new friends. I want to take on some new challenges too.

What I want most is to create a legacy, not just for myself but also for my dear friend Daniel, who has helped me so much.

My plan is a big one, and I will reveal more in the new year, so keep tuned, and have your knitting needles, crochet hooks and creativity ready!

1 comment:

  1. Cool , ill look forward to it, now I know where to find you!!