Undateable - Labels Belong on Clothes not People

The Undateables. The second series started last night. I think the Undateables means well, maybe. Presenting people with disabilities in their quest to find lasting love and happiness. But really? Isn't the label "disabled" disabling enough without adding "Undateable" to it?

When I was six my year 2 teacher had concerns. I couldn't catch a tennis ball one handed. I even struggled with a basketball with two hands. I couldn't really run, and climbing just wasn't for me. Never mind the fact I could embroider, read, write stories, no she wasn't interested in that. I got sent to an "assessment centre" for months on end.

The "assessment centre" was, to all intents and purposes, a special school. It was like a holding pen for children that didn't quite fit in, whilst the education system decided what should be done about these misfits. I was labelled. Only back in the 1970s the label wasn't disabled. It was retarded. Fabulous.

I had a young student teacher assigned to be my one to one. I remember one day sitting with my friend in a corner. We were discussing Star Wars, which my grandmother had taken me to see. The time came for us to return to our lessons. I asked my one to one about this boy. She explained he had a condition called muscular dystrophy. She explained that he could walk with help now but one day he would need a wheelchair. She also told me that his muscles were weakening over time, and gently mentioned that it was likely he would die before he got to be very old. She also said not to be sad, and not to treat him any differently to any other person.

My one to one explained the brain wasn't a muscle and he was very clever. She explained that he was just like any other boy, and that I was just like any other girl, and she taught me that I was never to make assumptions about people, or label them. I learnt young and have lived by that ever since. I just don't "see" disability. I see need, clearly some people have specific needs that need support, but I don't see those needs as dis-abling. I certainly wouldn't see that boy as being Undateable.

My husband Corey has a disability. He too struggled to find love. People have a weird perception at times of what disability means. Yes he gets Disability Living Allowance and has an adapted car, but he has a job (do you hear that IDS and your ConDem cohorts) and is a husband and father. He isn't what I would call disabled as such, as much as he has arthrogryposis multiplex congenita.

But he too was considered by some Undateable. It's not helpful.

Surely in the 21st century we should be living beyond labels. Disabled and Undateable. Unhelpful.

Labels belong on clothes not people.