When it first broke,
that Jimmy Savile story, I quivered. I knew what was to come. An
opening of the floodgates. And it happened. Story after terrible
story, being told by adults, who inside are still children, terrified
of a man now dead. Jimmy Savile is dead.
And the media, oh the
media, the armchair commentators speculating about why it took so
long, why these people chose now to speak up, why they didn’t say
no, why wasn’t something done. And the answer is complex, but it’s
simple too. Jimmy Savile is dead.
So many of these
stories are written and spoken by people who weren’t around in the
1970s. It’s easy to dismiss things like CRB checks and safeguarding
protocols as politically correct nonsense. We take it for granted.
Now, there are systems in place that protect children. Do they fail?
Yes of course they do, we only have to see recent news coverage to
tell us that. But they are there, and they do, by and large, work.
Let me tell you what
the 1970s was like. I heard my first talk on stranger danger at
primary school, at the age of 5. But no one told me. No one told me
that you were far more likely to be a victim of a family member, a
family friend, someone known to you. And when you did realise that
those advances, those touches, the things he did to you and asked you
to do weren’t right, you realised he had created a world where you
just would not be believed.
Clever abusers don’t
just grab a child off the street and molest them. No clever abusers
work systematically. They isolate their victim, build a world where
the child becomes convinced that no one will believe them. They blur
the lines between right and wrong. And that is the true genius. If a
hug is ok, then a touch on the bottom is too, yes? If a kiss is ok, a
kiss below the waist isn’t so bad is it? That is how they work.
Their perverted logic.
People, and
specifically men, who abuse children are not just evil. They are also
master manipulators. They build themselves up as the friendly
neighbour who will watch your children, fix your car, build that
tricky slide or trampoline you have just had delivered. They will,
very quietly, threaten your children. “You can tell your mum, but
she won’t believe you”. “If you tell your parents, I will hurt
your sister”. They cleverly construct an outside world that hides
what lies within.
Add to that mix a
culture, that like it or not, existed in the 1970s, that adults are
believed over children, and you have a recipe for a huge cover up, a
scandal, that will take years to deconstruct. People will speculate,
wonder how it could be allowed to happen. People like Savile
manipulate all those around them, not just children. They use their
power, prestige, and paying power to keep their minions quiet. And to
them, everyone that is not them, is a minion.
I
have struggled to know what to share, how to share it. I can’t stay
silent anymore. These people who have bravely gone to the police and
the papers are showing us the way. They way to break the silence. For
by staying silent, we allow these perpertrators to win.
My instinct is to share
it all. To tell you just what that man, thousands of miles away from
Jimmy Savile, with none of his money or influence, did to me. But
it’s too private, too poignant and too disturbing. If you want to
know, I will tell you, but not here, not now. I look at photos of
myself from that time and think, how could you have done this?
There are people like
me. Sat with their heads in their hands, memories coming back, tears
flowing, anger rising, that old fear and shame cloaking us once more.
We are not victims anymore. We are not little children lying in
hospital beds, or television studios so happy to be chosen to be on
telly or playing in the neighbour’s hen house. We are survivors. We
are overcomers. For Jimmy Savile is dead. And we are not..
To all those who have
come forward, I thank you. For now we can talk about it. We can break
our silence. We can inform law makers, and the media and most of all
our families, our children. We can break the cycle.
Jimmy Savile is dead.
And he can’t hurt us
anymore
Before
I begin, just to clarify, I think it's right that this story is out in
the media. If, and I believe there was, a systematic coverup, then it
needs to be exposed, brought to light, lessons learnt, convictions if
necessary. Victims overcomers need to have
their voices heard whatever the case, and I know that the story was due
to break before Jimmy Savile died. This piece is personal reflection not
a political statement. - See more at: http://notevena.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/jimmy-savile-is-dead.html#sthash.uccoJHYp.dpuf
Before
I begin, just to clarify, I think it's right that this story is out in
the media. If, and I believe there was, a systematic coverup, then it
needs to be exposed, brought to light, lessons learnt, convictions if
necessary. Victims overcomers need to have
their voices heard whatever the case, and I know that the story was due
to break before Jimmy Savile died. This piece is personal reflection not
a political statement.
And a big thank you to to Nickie at Typecast.
When it first broke, that Jimmy Savile story,
I quivered. I
knew what was to come. An opening of the floodgates. And it happened.
Story
after terrible story, being told by adults, who inside are still
children,
terrified of a man now dead. You see, when you think about the things
you have kept locked away, your not a rationale grown up. In that moment
you are back where you were, a vulnerable, frightened child. Jimmy
Savile is dead.
And the media, the armchair commentators
speculating about why it took so long, why these people chose now to speak up,
why they didn’t say no, why wasn’t something done. And the answer is complex,
but it’s simple too. Jimmy Savile is dead.
So many of these stories are written and spoken by people
who weren’t around in the 1970s. It’s easy to dismiss things like CRB checks
and safeguarding protocols as politically correct nonsense. We take it for
granted. Now, there are systems in place that protect children. Do they fail?
Yes of course they do, we only have to see recent news coverage to tell us that.
But they are there, and they do, by and large, work.
Let me tell you what the 1970s was like. I heard my first
talk on stranger danger at primary school, at the age of 5 in 1977. But no one told me.
No one told me that you were far more likely to be a victim of a family member,
a family friend, someone known to you. And when you did realise that those
advances, those touches, the things he did to you and asked you to do weren’t
right, you realised he had created a world where you just would not be
believed. And he made you believe it was all your fault, not his.
Clever abusers don’t just grab a child off the street and
molest them. No clever abusers work systematically. They isolate their victim,
build a world where the child becomes convinced that no one will believe them.
They blur the lines between right and wrong. And that is the true twisted genius. If a
hug is ok, then a touch on the bottom is too, yes? If a kiss is ok, a kiss
below the waist isn’t so bad is it? That is how they work. Their perverted
logic.
People, and specifically men, who abuse children are not just
evil. They are also master manipulators. They build themselves up as the
friendly neighbour who will watch your children, fix your car, build that
tricky slide or trampoline you have just had delivered. They will, very
quietly, threaten your children. “You can tell your mum, but she won’t believe
you”. “If you tell your parents, I will hurt your sister”. They cleverly
construct an outside world that hides what lies within.
Add to that mix a culture, that like it or not, existed in
the 1970s, that adults are believed over children, and you have a recipe for a
huge cover up, a scandal, that will take years to deconstruct. People will
speculate, wonder how it could be allowed to happen. People like Savile
manipulate all those around them, not just children. They use their power,
prestige, and paying power to keep their minions quiet. And to them, everyone
that is not them, is a minion.
I have struggled to know what to share, how to share it. I
can’t stay silent anymore. These people who have bravely gone to the police and
the papers are showing us the way. They way to break the silence. For by
staying silent, we allow these perpertrators to win.
My instinct is to share it all. To tell you just what that
man, thousands of miles away from Jimmy Savile, with none of his money or
influence, did to me. But it’s too private, too poignant and too disturbing. Sometimes it all feels like a nightmare.
These brave people are people like me. Sat with their heads in their
hands, memories coming back, tears flowing, anger rising, that old fear and
shame cloaking us once more. We are not victims anymore. We are not little
children lying in hospital beds, or television studios so happy to be chosen to
be on telly or playing in the neighbour’s hen house. We are survivors. We are
overcomers. For Jimmy Savile is dead. And we are not.
To all those who have come forward, I thank you. For now we
can talk about it. We can break our silence. We can inform law makers, and the
media and most of all our families, our children. We can break the cycle.
Jimmy Savile is dead.
And he can’t hurt us anymore
This post is only possible through the love and support of four special Twitter friends
And a big thank you to to Nickie at Typecast.
If you have been affected by this post and need support NAPAC are there to help as are Victim Support
For a very sensible, balanced article that gave me the impetus to write this piece, please read The Guardian article.
This piece by Suzanne Moore is what I wished I had written, please read this and share.
- See more at: http://notevena.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/jimmy-savile-is-dead.html#sthash.uccoJHYp.dpufFor a very sensible, balanced article that gave me the impetus to write this piece, please read The Guardian article.
This piece by Suzanne Moore is what I wished I had written, please read this and share.
No comments:
Post a Comment